


would you be so kind

by Kaiaxy



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack Fic, Hashirama is a pure bean, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, M/M, Oops, The Author Regrets Nothing, Time Travel, Time Travel Shenanigans, Tobirama is Done, Uchiha Obito Lives, dw kakashi didnt completely corrupt him, or was, there goes Hashirama's innocense, until kakashi entered the building, you got tobi to thank for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:42:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiaxy/pseuds/Kaiaxy
Summary: “I’m sorry!” Hashirama whined pitifully, “I had to take the long way around, there was a black cat!”Kakashi watched smugly as Tobirama’s face did something complicated before glaring at him, not Hashirama, before cursing him and his entire lineage under his breath. Rude. He managed to catch the muttered words "stupid time travelers" before Tobirama hauled him like a sack of potatoes toward his husband- who was still trying to undress a protesting Obito.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Senju Tobirama, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Comments: 8
Kudos: 193





	would you be so kind

Maybe, when Kakashi survived this, he’d write a book. Or maybe it would be best if he didn’t. Kakashi didn’t want to be responsible for accidentally destroying the planet, after all. Chances are, all he would do is create yet another megalomaniac bent on world domination. And it is conceivable enough to presume that they would succeed this time. After all, people are flawed creatures that only seem to grow stupider with each new generation. 

Yeah, no. Kakashi flicks to the next page of his book _Icha Icha: Dessert Island - Harem Wars_ and giggles a little at the ensuing drama. Plot and porn, fuel for his soul, and the best combination in a book. And absolutely stress-free. 

“Bakashi, save me! Old man Madara is trying to kill me!”

"Who are you calling old, you little shit!"

...and he spoke too soon. Hmm. He peered at the ground of the tree he was perched on, blinking slowly. Was that Madara trying to dress his teammate in a traditional wedding dress? What? Why- Wait. What was today’s date again?

“Did you say something, Obito-kun.”

The scarred Uchiha scowled at him from below the tree he was resting against. “You a-..”

“Tobirama!” Madara screeched like one very upset cat, his hair on end and eyes blown wide with mad intensity. Kakashi shivered. He never did like cats.

“Got it, sweetheart.” a hand landed on Kakashi’s forearm, and his eyes widened in surprise. He quickly molded his chakra for a body replacement jutsu, but nothing happened. Kakashi scowled.

Tobirama smirked at him in amusement at his frustration. Asshole. “Don’t bother trying to run, I have this entire forest crawling with Hiraishin markers and have sealed your chakra.”

“Maa,” Kakashi drawled out and ‘innocently’ blinked his one good eye wide at Tobirama. “Why would I run?”

Tobirama answered in a dry tone of voice. “This is the fourth time you’ve both tried to elude your own wedding. Of course Madara and I had to take some- Anija, your late.”

“I’m sorry!” Hashirama whined pitifully, “I had to take the long way around, there was a black cat!”

Kakashi watched smugly as Tobirama’s face did something complicated before glaring at him, not Hashirama, before cursing him and his entire lineage under his breath. Rude. He managed to catch the muttered words "stupid time travelers" before Tobirama hauled him like a sack of potatoes toward his husband- who was still trying to undress a protesting Obito. 

Kakashi appreciated the view.

“Just,” Tobirama pinched the bridge of his nose with his one free hand. “Tie him up. Please. Hashirama.”

Kakashi gasps in mock surprise. “I knew you were both close, but _that_ close? How shameless are you?! Not even a proper date before outright bondage- Tsk, tsk, tsk.”

“Gag him up too while you're at it Anija.” Poor Hashirama seemed to be a bit confused, but as the dawning realization came, he spluttered, completely taken aback. Kakashi almost felt bad for corrupting this pure bean. Almost.

  
  


“Wait- I’lhmmm!”

At least Kakashi still had a pretty great view. 

  
  


….he spoke too soon again. 

Tobirama is a spiteful dick when he wants to be, and now Kakashi is blindfolded. He pouted as best he could around the tree branch in his mouth.

Luckily Hashirama took pity on his thrashing after a couple more minutes and took the blindfold off and ungagged him. Much to Tobirama’s chagrin, of course.

At least Obito seemed to be having just as good a time as he- meaning, Madara is giving Obito hell, and Kakashi now had front row seats to it again. After some more unnecessary hair pulling, Obitos words, not his, he looked like a picturesque wife and unknowingly fulfilled one of his fantasies. Or maybe Obito was perfectly aware, and that’s why he continues to try and glare death at him with cheeks flaming as Madara began to work on his hair. Kakashi understandably felt the loss of his- Obito’s?- Sharingan very clearly then. 

Madara seemed to be brimming with pride with his chest puffed out like one of his birds when he finished. Kakashi chuckled with good humor, easily ignoring Obito's continuous screeching protests, and tried his best to immortalize the image in his mind. Obito made for a very beautiful blushing bride. Although voicing this thought of his had immediately earned him a snarl and a fireball to the face. Luckily Hashirama pushed him out of the way, and he managed to avoid becoming toast very narrowly, but it was so worth it to see the ordinarily very vocal man become speechless. 

* * *

It was when they were situated at the altar that Kakashi remembered something very important.

“Um, guys, we’re already married.”

  
  


Someone screamed in outrage.

  
  
  
  



End file.
